A model on finding connection after conflict
We all find ourselves in situations that make us uncomfortable, often on a daily basis. This model is about returning to compassion after we feel split from our sense of humanness (either in ourselves or each other). Practicing this model is a way to rediscover the place inside of each of us where we feel safe and do not feel frightened. The best part is that learning how to return to compassion can help us find and grow connections within the most difficult and important relationships of our lives. Click here to read examples of these growing connections.
A little bit more about the Returning to Compassion model.
The model is an eye-catching visual that at first strikes most people as a 4 leaf clover instead of a map on Compassion. The first layer of the model, that explains scarcity (or a belief that there is “not enough”) started to formulate as early as 2006 when Ruth Diaz was working at a 900 bed homeless shelter in New York City. In 2015 the visual version that shows how we go from scarcity to abundance (and back again!) was completed while Ruth was working in an inpatient psychiatric hospital with those who were having such a difficult maintaining safe boundaries with their bodies and others around them that they were being held against their will. The model, which identifies roles like bully/victim and hero/bystander, gave children and other adults at the hospital the chance to stay conscious of their emotions and notice how their feelings were impacting their experience with each other. It shows how our emotions are actually connecting us with each other even if we feel like there is a disconnect.
The children’s ward helped develop the new roles they wanted to choose consciously and gave each of them symbols. For example, the villain or bully is reframed as a challenger and reminds all of us that when we feel frustrated we get to remember to use the clarity of our discomfort to creatively offer the bite-sized pieces to those we feel conflicted around. These conscious challenges can bring us all back to our hearts. The villain or bully was given the symbol of the spiral because the spiral captures our focus and helps us come back to our center.
The video below is a 5 minute example of how we can reach a place of center again. It's simple and yet a powerful way to return to compassion within.
All empowering and awakening connections begin and end with gratitude.
Full Prezi version
This is the beginning of disconnect and conflict. Notice how this feels true for you... recall a story when you've felt this experience before
(Please give this prezi a few seconds to load.)
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